It’s hard, and it’s always going to be hard accepting change and letting go of someone you have feelings for, especially when it’s not what you want. But, it’s not the end of the world and you will get over them. Even when I get really hurt by a guy, I always find the getting over process relatively easy; so, either I’m a heartless bitch when it comes to males or this advice is really good – I’m hoping it’s the latter!
Make it easier on yourself on the long run – don’t convince yourself that he’s playing hard to get, or beat yourself up over the littlest thing you did that might have put him off. Sometimes, feelings fade or people realise that they just don’t feel that way about you – and that’s okay. Don’t try make excuses for him and just understand that something changed, it’s over and it’s time to move on. Once you accept this, it prevents old wounds being re-opened when you hear they’ve moved on to someone else and the excuses you told yourself to get through it all start to fall apart. Equally, don’t beat yourself up thinking that he lost feelings because of the way you look, act or anything else about you – you don’t know what happened, and you need to accept the fact that you probably never will. Unfortunately, most people don’t have the balls to say the real reason why things don’t work out, so it’s important to accept the apology you never received and move on with your life. Don’t let him waste any more of your time!
Keep your pride. This is the one thing that I find makes it so much easier to get over someone. If I’d begged for them to like me, or persistently tried to make it work when they clearly weren’t interested, I’d look back on my actions embarrassed and feeling pathetic. When you feel weak and like you don’t have the upper hand, it makes the rejection 10x worse. If you know that something is truly over, save your dignity and accept it gracefully. Put on a brave face, because that boy didn’t deserve you anyway and he certainly shouldn’t be able to think he’s made you this upset – don’t boost his ego. In 5 years, will this matter? If not, don’t give it more than 5 minutes of your time. I get that everyone deals with things differently, and may see my approach as ‘sweeping it under the rug’, but I really don’t see it that way. I don’t dwell on the issue and focus my energy into positive and productive things, then before you know it enough time has passed without you thinking about him and you reach the stage where you are honestly over it. You can’t expect to get over someone when you’re constantly making them a part of your life.
Top tip: When you’ve been rejected or dumped, your confidence is bound to be at a low – don’t mope! Take an hour, an afternoon or even a day to get your feelings out, have a good cry and slob around watching Netflix; but then enough is enough. Do whatever you need to feel good – an intense workout, get dressed up for a night out with the girls, post a bomb Insta pic, whatever – work on yourself and feeling good. The more time you spend reminding yourself of him and what happened, you’re just gonna put yourself in a bad mood – so be positive, happy and focus on new things that are worth your time and effort. You’re a strong independent woman who don’t need no man – so start acting like it! *snaps fingers*
Personally, I don’t tend to block people unless things got really bad. However, when the situation is still fresh in your mind, it may be wise to hide that person’s posts so you’re not reminded of them regularly. Plus, not blocking them means they’re able to see just how great you’re doing without them – a big fat middle finger to them. But PLEASE, for the love of God DO NOT CHECK HIS SOCIAL PROFILES! There’s never going to be anything on there you want to see, so save yourself the heartbreak. The longer you go without checking up on him and what he’s doing will make it all a lot easier, and eventually you’ll get to the stage where you realise you haven’t thought about him in a few days, then a few weeks, so on. Don’t make it any harder for yourself than it needs to be.
Don’t take it out on the new chick. Whether she’s less attractive than you or a total babe, it’s not your issue anymore because you’re not with him. Don’t let the situation make you toxic and take it out on some poor girl who’s probably gonna feel the same way you do in a few months when he’s bored of her too. Be the bigger person! Also, why would you even want him back now anyway? He showed his true colours when he ended this whole thing, and girl he’s done you a favour. Never be with a guy who treats you like an option – we’re often blinded to this while we’re with them and only realise afterwards what assholes they actually were. Onwards and upwards!
Besides, if you’re wasting time with this loser, you won’t be free when Brad Pitt comes knocking. He’s single now, remember?! But seriously, he’s really not as great as you thought he was and something/someone better will come along and you’ll be so flipping glad things worked out the way they did. Now here are some fantastic Pinterest quotes to give you the final confidence boost you need!
Tl;dr – he’s a loser and you’re fabulous. Line up some Tinder dates, put your fave lippy on and relish the free time you’re no longer spending entertaining his shit chat over WhatsApp. You’ve got this!